It's an odd place to be. Stuck between someone's sayings and doings. I presume this is the painful place you've resided for ages. It's human nature to take heed of the beautiful things and block the terrors out. I eloquently spoke how I wanted things to be; you held my words as you should. My actions, however, we'll just say didn't amount to being worth more than the shit you'd later flush down the toilet. You speak malice; it hurts so good though. It is the punishment I've come to accept I deserve. But your actions say you are enraged with the fact that my pleasant words planted a seed of love that you have concluded you MUST kill because I've broken the very tool with which you loved me so. But you spend hours in your yard these days. You understand from experience that the pesky things are not easily stomped dead. Even in all your hard work to eliminate their life source, they persist.
In true Kanye, sick and twisted form, I breathe both; your words, your actions. No one hates someone they don't care about I tell myself. No one wastes energy getting angry with someone who means nothing I say.
Who knows anything anymore? Days are just passing me and there's something that just isn't quite right with the world. I pray for my day of atonement while I am in an all our brawl with the notion that it may never come.
I'm in search of a clean slate on an old board... It's that too much to ask )(again)? Probably...
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